stories from the Realm

Today I met a crazy man in Washington Square Park. He wanted me to be his girlfriend.

He didn’t appear outwardly crazy. He was wearing nice clothes–button down shirt, leather shoes, nice pants. If I saw him walking on the streets, I wouldn’t think twice about who he was or what he was doing.

But he sat down on the same bench as me and proceeded to ask what I was reading (it was Melville, if you’re curious), and what my name was, and guess what? he reads too, books on “not witchcraft, specifically” but more like psychic reasoning…

This is the first time since I arrived in New York City that I’ve felt threatened while outside of my apartment. I am simultaneously horrified and ridiculously amused by this event. On the one hand, I was sitting in a park talking to a man who was very obviously out of his mind, and who had some really skewed ideas of how relationships are supposed to work. (Case in point: one does not randomly walk up to women in the park and suggest that they have your children.) On the other hand, it was just…funny. Funny as hell.

Never mind the fact that I probably could have been killed or raped or something, if it was a little later at night and there were fewer people around. Never mind the fact that I shouldn’t even have bothered to respond to the first thing he said to me, I should have gotten up and walked away.

It was hilarious. It was hilarious that he actually thought I would consider dating him…